When I started this challenge, I really didn't believe that I would see it to the finish. I am so stoked that I managed to do it! That is a definite high point of the month. This final challenge post is to be about the highs and lows of the month. Using a method that I was introduced to at a professional development meeting over the summer, I will call them 'deposits' and 'withdrawals' to my contentment bank.
Deposits to the Bank:
*QUILT CLASS!!!
*joining Pinterest...new addiction
*it's October! My favorite month!
*receiving the Versatile Blogger award!
*having today off as a random fall break! hooray for Mondays off!
*finishing this challenge!
*Cris Brown read my post about him...OMG...and commented about it on Facebook! Holy Guacamole!
Withdrawals to the Bank:
*feeling yuck (fall allergies and a severely impacted sinus infection)
*a sick kiddo (stomach bug led to dehydration and almost an ER visit...thank heavens for a Dr. in the fam)
*very limited hubs time
*a mouse in the house!
This may be the toughest post of the entire challenge for me. A problem I have had. Hmm. I have had my share. Probably more than my fair share, and more likely than not, they have been brought upon myself by myself! The biggest problem area in my life is in relationships. With everyone.
I have a tendency to see things in black and white. No shades of gray. Don't get me wrong, I think that gray is a fabulous color...on cats, in clothing...but not in situations and circumstances. When confronted with issues, I typically see things as right or wrong. Not much in between. And I don't tend to guard my tongue when asked for an opinion. Believe it or not, that causes a lot of bridges to be burned. I am very cut to the chase and precise in everything I do. Don't ask if you don't want what I see as truth to be told. If you don't want me to think the worst of you or someone else, then don't constantly show or tell me bad things about you or them. If I think you are using me or being dishonest with me, I'm done. And I will let you know fully why I am done.
While these personality traits don't win or keep many friends around, they do ensure that the people around me are genuine. Anyone that is real enough to put up with my OCD nature and tolerates my need to be in control, is real enough to cause me to want to make time to develop a relationship with. That does not happen very often. So I guess the problem is that my personality does not generate a lot of lasting friendships. Thank God for Chris, or I'd be a lonely mess! There are times that my lack of true friends bothers me. Most of the time, however, I am pretty happy to be without drama and without feeling the need to satisfy other people. It seems I may need to prepare for a life as a hermit. Maybe when I am old, I will be the old cat lady. :-)
Not too many people interest me enough for me to give them more than a fleeting thought on occasion, much less to be fascinated with them. That sounds harsh, but there are so many things to do, see, be in life; and not nearly enough time to get it all in while being consumed with thoughts of another person, especially one that probably does not give you a second thought either!
However, there is someone that I do give a good bit of thought to...my favorite singer in the world, Cris Brown. No not the woman beater Chris Brown...one of a different variety. This guy...
Now, I know for a fact that my Cris Brown does not think of me at all. I have been around him a total of maybe three or four times, for just a few minutes each time. He, however, is with me much of the time. In my car especially. There are times when there are three One Less Reason CDs in my 6 disc player. I love them. I especially love him. He writes. The most beautiful words. I love words. Especially ones like these...
All I've got are screams inside, but somehow they come out in a smile...
While you were adding me up, I never amounted to much, I'm just the person that needed you most...
Live it like you're alive, love it as if you were dying...
And every new beginning, comes from some other's end...
You had your mother's broken heart, your father's laughing eyes...
Was that just goodbye? You know I couldn't tell...a heart that's made of gold, doesn't mean that it's for sale...You taught me how to love, then set me up to fail...gave me prayers without the words, a cross without the nails...then let me go.
I left you in the sunshine, but missed you most in fall...
Cause life it hit so hard, that I couldn't breathe...
So much guilt that I couldn't cry...waiting for God and the words to save you...I should have got it right...on my first try.
You'd better hold me down, stand me up keep me safe while I'm falling to pieces...tell me how should I bend, when all I know is to break?
This man writes so beautifully, eloquently...and phrases the lyrics to his music so well, with intense emotion. His smile rarely reaches his eyes...when he does smile. I find myself wondering where he has been and what the hell he has seen and been through in his fairly short life. He is one of the very few people that has a talent that never fails to amaze me. I would most definitely love to sit down with him for a while and just talk...listen to him tell his story. His talent is even more impressive live; his intensity and passion can't be contained. If you haven't checked One Less Reason out from my previous posts...please do! They are definitely up and coming, about to bust loose on the airways! Catch a quick glimpse below...
What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long. ~Denis Leary
That quote is totally me. I have a hard time sitting still long enough to watch most movies. It just feels like I am wasting time better spent DOING something. I can't stand for my hands and brain to not be actively engaged. I bet I only physically go to the movies three times a year...if that! Because I am just not a movie girl, I don't have a specific favorite. I thought I'd list my top 10 of all time, and see how they compare to yours!
Everyone goes through changes at different intervals during their life. My mom always insists that physical change comes in ten year time frames. It might not necessarily be at 20, 30, 40, and so on...perhaps your ten years is 23, 33, and 43 or 26, 36, and 46. Mine seems to be the eights. At age 8, I began my period. Yes I know. TRAGIC. At 18, I began having seasonal allergies. 28 brought back problems. There have been other minor things in between those ten year break downs, such as eye-sight, weight fluctuations, bladder changes, etc. However, the major ones that have had life altering effects have occurred every ten years.
me, circa 2009
The last two years have brought about many changes for me, both physically and personally. Physically, my back has worsened (there is the potential for a fusion in my future); my allergies are horrendous in the fall and spring; I have to pee three or four times during the workday (I used to go before and after...at home...it WAS the bladder of steel); there is an extra 35 pounds on my 5'1" frame; my bedtime is now no later than 9:30 during the week, 11:00 on the weekends!
Me, circa 2011
Personally, I have married my soul mate, making life infinitely more sweet. That alone has given me a sense of security, contentment, comfort, and joy that I have never known. In living with him, I am learning to be a better person. During the last year, I have become more patient with the kids, definitely more capable of biting my tongue instead of blowing up; my skills at communication with the kids have become much better...slower to react, quicker to think and rationalize; it is more important to me to divide my time wisely and equally among everyone; and I know now that I must take time for myself (something that I never did before).
I believe that I have matured over the last couple of years. I don't care so much about going out and partying or being loud and rowdy. I do love to just be at home. My love for creating things has been renewed...cooking, crafting, sewing. I make time for what is important: Chris, kids, family, me. Things that are not as important do not take precedence any longer. So many changes in such a short time make me wonder what other changes are due to come my way in the NEXT two years?
At my quilting class today, the instructor informed me that her son lives near Quantico. My response? Is he in the FBI??? To most, that might seem a random odd question. However, if you know me at all, you know that Criminal Minds is my all-time favorite show ever, which makes it not such a crazy response. Truly, the world stands still when a new episode is on. I actually told Boo last week..."I wait all week for this one hour...be quiet until it is over, and if you can't be quiet, then leave the room!" Harsh, I know. But really. I do wait all week, anticipating that one hour with the BAU...Penelope, Prentiss, Rossi, Morgan, Hotchner, J.J. and Spencer. Oh Spencer, how I love thee. Thy nerdish ways...thy cute hair (although it was ever so much better long)...thy love of formulas, theories, literature, and such...thy random wisdom...thy awkward attempts at humor...yes, I love thee, Spencer Reid. The awesomely amazing part of it all?!?! I am actually home on Wednesday nights when it comes on!!! And immediately after? My second favorite show in the whole wide world, Law and Order SVU. I am not altogether sure of how well I will enjoy it this season though, since Elliot is gone. He and Liv were quite a team. Ah well, at least the crew from the BAU is all back together again for this season!
Of course I think that education is important. Very important. I think that every person has the capability to become educated...perhaps not to the same degree as the next person or the person before...but educated in some manner. Sometimes the highest level of education is learning life skills; sometimes it is training to be an astro-physicist; sometimes it is educated in less desirable skills...street smarts. For the most part, children value what their parents value...whether they realize/admit it or not. If parents are learners, children typically will be curious and interested in learning new things as well.
The workforce is becoming increasingly more competitive year after year. Colleges and prospective employers look at GPAs, extracurricular involvement, community service, and how much time/effort/consistency/commitment was devoted to the various activities. The desirable students/employees are the ones that have been trained in college and career preparatory course work; students that seek out opportunities to enhance their learning and performance. Employees that have been around awhile without furthering their education or having some professional development along the way may get pushed aside, to make way for some young up and comer that does have all of the 'new' knowledge of how things work and should be done. Technology is a prime example of a skill that young workers have, but old-timers may be lacking in. Be vigilant about education...strengthen your brain...grow some brain cells!!! They may die if you don't use them...the brain needs exercise just as much as the rest of your body!
At a different level, and more personally, I am a lifelong learner. I love to learn new things. My nose is typically in a book (kindle) or googling something. Lefty is the same way. I love that she loves to learn the way I do. I feel stagnant when I am not actively learning something new. It may be a new skill, new information, or just an extension of something that I already knew...but I feel better about myself...more excited and alive...when my brain is engaged. Both of my parents are educators; my dad has multiple master's degrees. I was raised hearing jokes about 'professional college students' (the ones that keep going back for more...they never are done). That will be me. I have already started work on my first master's...took a break to get settled in my Knight Life...but am getting the itch to start up again. The mind is feeling idle.
I believe that I am rambling. I probably shouldn't have even started this post, as I know that I am not doing it justice! I have tired eyes...allergies...must get rest...
Quilt class starts tomorrow!!! Once again, learning something new!!!
October 3, 2010 - October 3, 2011 was a fairly evenly keeled year. We will start with the lows...just to get them over with! I don't like to dwell on the bad days! The highs were much more plentiful and are much more fun to read about!
LOW TIMES
~hearing from my doctor that my yearly exam was abnormal and required a 'scraping' to determine what was wrong. She even used the 'C' word...
~frustrating relationships (a post for a different day)
~summer's end combined with a difficult beginning to the school year
~daughter drama
~having the flu for the first time...it was the worst sick I can ever remember being. Definitely getting a flu shot this year!!!
HIGH TIMES
~getting an 'all clear' from the doctor!
~finding the best bra ever! The Victoria's Secret Dream Angels Push-Up Bra. It.Is.Awesome. I got another.
~finding a quilting class to take. I am stoked! And my mommy is taking it too!
Class supplies...it was therapeutic to buy these! :-)
~making a quilt in kindergarten!!! Oh YES we DID! And it was my first and only attempt at one...EVER!
~Florida vacation! Our first major trip as a family of 6! DISNEY!
~seeing the Yankees play...and taking Lefty to her first Yankee game...priceless.indeed.
Yes, those were real tears as she realized Derek Jeter was taking the field eighty yards away from her.
"When words fail, music says it all." I saw this on a canvas in a 'catch-all' store the other day. To me, music can be a comfort, an instigator, an inspiration, or a deterrent. It can be many things, depending on what your soul needs that day. Mainstream music is not always my favorite. I am not one to listen to or even know what is on the radio most of the time. On occasion, I will get bored with my CDs, and may listen to the radio for a day or two while driving from this place to that, but for the most part, I am pretty set in my musical ways. At the present time, I do like Kesha, Lady Gaga, and Adam Levine (Maroon 5). I can handle a little bit of Bruno Mars, but only here and there. Everything he does sounds the same. My musical tastes run more along the lines of Breaking Benjamin, Seether, Evanescence, Three Doors Down, Fuel, Default, One Less Reason, Nickelback, Pink, Rhianna, Eminem, Saving Abel, Pop Evil, Lifehouse, the Fray, the Script, Avenged Sevenfold, Daughtry, Cavo, and this list could go on and on...but I only really like the original work put out by all of these bands/artists...not the edited versions. It irritates me no end to be listening to a song and it be bleeped throughout. That is probably why I do not particularly care for radio music!
It is so frustrating to me when artists change their original 'personality' to be more mainstream. Amy Lee with Evanescence has seemed to do that with her new release "What You Want." She's definitely not the only one either. I heard an interview with Jason Derulo a day or so ago, where he was talking about having to change lyrics in order for his work to be sold in Wal-Mart and Target. Argh. Seriously...say what you have to say...and don't let others (and/or money) change your originality.
For the 15th day of this challenge, I am supposed to talk about my favorite Tumblrs. To be perfectly honest, before this challenge, I had never heard of a Tumblr. Needless to say, I Googled it. I don't have a favorite. I'm not even sure that I like it. I am too much of a word nerd. I like to know what people have to SAY...with WORDS. I didn't see a lot of wordage on Tumblr. I saw a lot of photos, video clips, one-liners. Not too much to interest me.
On a much more exciting note, I am going to be taking a quilting class!!! I have been watching our local craft store for notices about quickie classes coming up that might interest me, and lo' and behold...a quilting class! It begins on Saturday, and I am beyond thrilled. I think about it and start getting bouncy and anxious for it to start! I will get to spend 4 hours for the next three Saturdays learning to quilt. I have made a quilt before, but it was nothing fancy. I want to learn to do it right! Not to mention the fact that I NEVER do things like that for me, because it is something that I just enjoy doing. Usually things that I do are things that everyone else wants to do. Oh, and my mom is taking the class with me. It should be a fun time. We used to craft together a lot when I was at home. :-)
when I broke into my neighbor's house. His name was Robbie. He was five and my best friend and lived two houses down. In those days, it was safe for kids to play and roam in the neighborhood, especially one as quiet as ours. So my mom was watching from the porch as I went over to ask Robbie if he could play. She didn't see what I saw. I saw a giant German Shepherd watching me. waiting. for. me. SMELLING. MY. FEAR. I ran up Robbie's porch to the door. I knocked. No one answered. I pounded. No one answered. I turned the knob and went in. No one was home. I sat on the couch, scared to death. It's a wonder that I didn't pee all over my ruffly little dress. I had been sitting there for about an hour when the phone rang. And rang. So of course I answered it. It was my mom. Needless to say, I was in some major trouble for a four year old. Breaking and entering. Loitering. Using someone's couch to ease my fears when the couch owner was not home! Oh my. Hot water indeed. My mom sent my older brother to bring me home, and I can remember being terrified to open the door. I was afraid the dog had managed to ring the bell and was waiting. I was trembling, soooo upset. My brother, who is 9 years older than me, convinced me to come outside and RUN!!! I ran so hard...eyes darting back and forth expecting a snarling, snapping canine to pounce at me at any moment. When we finally made it into the house, I crumpled in tears inside the closed door. Mom must've figured that I had suffered enough, because I didn't really get yelled at and I didn't get swats...however, I didn't go to Robbie's house without escort again!
At 33 years old, I have never lived in any town other than the one that I was born in. Chris and I have actually talked about places we would like to live after our kids are grown and on their own. I am not entirely sure that I could live anywhere that they are not...but maybe if it looked like this...
this girl...
with this guy
doing this...
and this...
and this!!!!
We will probably end our days somewhere beachy, if you couldn't tell. It is my favorite place other than where my babies are. I could definitely tolerate that. :-)
