Friday, October 14, 2011

Challenge Day 27/30...Black and White

This may be the toughest post of the entire challenge for me. A problem I have had. Hmm. I have had my share. Probably more than my fair share, and more likely than not, they have been brought upon myself by myself! The biggest problem area in my life is in relationships. With everyone. 


I have a tendency to see things in black and white. No shades of gray. Don't get me wrong, I think that gray is a fabulous color...on cats, in clothing...but not in situations and circumstances. When confronted with issues, I typically see things as right or wrong. Not much in between. And I don't tend to guard my tongue when asked for an opinion. Believe it or not, that causes a lot of bridges to be burned. I am very cut to the chase and precise in everything I do. Don't ask if you don't want what I see as truth to be told. If you don't want me to think the worst of you or someone else, then don't constantly show or tell me bad things about you or them. If I think you are using me or being dishonest with me, I'm done. And I will let you know fully why I am done.


While these personality traits don't win or keep many friends around, they do ensure that the people around me are genuine. Anyone that is real enough to put up with my OCD nature and tolerates my need to be in control, is real enough to cause me to want to make time to develop a relationship with. That does not happen very often. So I guess the problem is that my personality does not generate a lot of lasting friendships. Thank God for Chris, or I'd be a lonely mess! There are times that my lack of true friends bothers me. Most of the time, however, I am pretty happy to be without drama and without feeling the need to satisfy other people. It seems I may need to prepare for a life as a hermit. Maybe when I am old, I will be the old cat lady. :-)

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