Murder in the Food Court

For real, though.

It happened.

Thursday night, Boo and I were catching glimpses of the 10 o'clock news, when we heard. There had been a shooting at a mall that we go to on occasion. Anxiety prone, nervous stomached, slightly OCD, 14 year-old Boo decided she could not shop there anymore. Her exact words, spoken very flippantly..."Welp, not goin' there again!"

In the next breath, the news commentator said that the shooting had happened in the food court, leaving one person dead and the other in critical condition. While this is not a funny situation at all, the reaction that unwittingly came from my child was hilarious. Her 'true' reactions usually are. Her shoulders sagged and her forehead fell to the arm of my chair and I heard a barely audible, "Shiiit...not just in the mall, but the food court! My favorite part of the mall, what am I supposed to do there now?!?!?!" I couldn't help it. I busted up. I am pretty sure that I should have reprimanded her for her use of a four-letter word in my presence, but o.m.g. it was so freakin' funny the way it came out.

Her momma's daughter...'fraidy Boo!

On the bright side of her anxiety-induced boycott of the mall and its delish food court, guess that is one less daughter I have to worry about sneaking my credit cards!!!

The Most Offensive Phrase EVER.

It has no 'ugly' words. It is only said to/about women and girls. It is supposedly meant as a compliment. It hurts like hell. It is the worst thing you could ever say to me. EVER.

"She has such a pretty face."

Damn that's harsh. You've heard it. You may have said it. I am ashamed to say that I have. Even as a fat girl. It's just one of those things. You may truly think you are giving someone a compliment...but even the best of intentions can go horribly awry. This is one of them.  

Yes, it makes me angry when I hear it. However, I guess it is better to be pretty somewhere, rather than to be ugly everywhere. Unfortunately, everyone knows that this little jab encased in a false compliment, is always followed by a 'but.' And no, it ISN'T the same type of 'butt' that follows me everywhere I go. I call her J'Lo, and she jiggles like jell-o. It IS the kind of 'but' that means, "I said something semi-nice, so that I could follow it up with something excessively snarky."

You know, I didn't even like that little saying when I was skinny. Now that I am 'unskinny,' it really sucks. However, as you can tell from my 'See Me Shrink' page, (if you can tell it's top from it's bottom), I am making progress. And lots of it! Look at this 'pretty face.'

taken Christmas Day 2012

Guarantee you noticed how round that face is, and how wide the ass is. Yes, there are pretty features on the face. The rest is a tub o' lard. But look at the 'prettier' face now.

taken February 2, 2013

I see cheekbones again!!! And NO double chin!!! Notice the shoulders getting a bit more narrow!!! Now check out the littler big picture...

taken February 24, 2013
(please ignore the dirty laundry, we had all the kids that weekend...laundry hits the back burner)

In the words of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, "Bazinga!!!" Nothing is nearly as wide as it was. Cheekbones are more prominent, pants are almost falling off (I did have to buy new ones), oh, and I see a jawline!!!

Hot Damn!

Who is definitely becoming more than 'such a pretty face?'

THIS GIRL, THAT'S WHO!

Expect the Unexpected

Snow...er ice...no, uh rain...errrrr some kind of day that we get to be home from school due to nasty weather. The area weather guys have been saying for several days that we would be having some form of winter weather this week. The local weathermen are never rarely right when predicting snow and/or ice for our area. Well, this time they sort of did. On Wednesday morning around 9:15, I thought I saw flurries outside of my classroom window. Hmm. Well okay. An hour later, it began to rain. Gross. At 11ish, it started to snow. Now, snow around here usually just swirls around and never touches the ground, but lo and behold, we get an announcement that our district will be dismissing at noon. Guess I'll take that without too much complaint. It meant that I would be able to be the one present for a major milestone for Lefty, when I really wasn't expecting to be. I have to wait until tomorrow to post about that though. Lefty says so.

That's some giant snowflakes right there!

While I was waiting for Lefty, it began to snow really hard. I just felt like I needed to go pick Boo up from school, which had not been dismissed early (I teach in a different district than the one they attend in). I went ahead and left to get her, and when we all got home, those dang snowflakes looked like snowballs falling from the sky! Boo thought she needed to attack them, but one pegged her in the eye. Dork.

No, she doesn't have a coat on. She had spent the night at her dad's and apparently he didn't think she needed to know it was supposed to snow. Genius.

Now, what you have to understand is that my school district doesn't just dismiss randomly for the possibility that the pretty white stuff swirling around might stick. Last month, it got bad enough that I couldn't drive my 2wd SUV home and had to have Chris drive the 30 minutes to pick me up with the 4wd. School never did dismiss; I had to use a half of a personal day. There were lots of accidents that day, so maybe that is why the decision was made early. Anyway, thank God that we were let out. It was only by His grace that I was able to follow my intuition and pick Boo up early. This is what happened to her school bus about 15 minutes away from our house.

Some of the girlies friends were on it when it happened. Seven children, aged 10 - 15, and the bus driver were involved. Three of those kids and the driver were transported to the ER for treatment of minor injuries. Lefty's best friend and best friend's brother were both transported, one with a deeply bruised shoulder and the other with a sprained/possibly fractured ankle. The other child treated had facial lacerations and the bus driver was complaining of back pain. Boo's very close friend blacked out at some point in the accident and has no recollection of the accident itself, but her parents declined treatment for her. All were released from the ER within  4 hours of transport, so the injuries were truly minor...at least the physical ones were. Why don't school buses have seatbelts for students? Why don't schools dismiss before the weather gets this treacherous? It was obviously getting nasty out there 2 hours before the accident occurred. I don't get it. The school released student drivers 30 minutes early, and all others 15 minutes before the final bell. Making up a partial day or even two or three full days is so trivial compared to what did happen and what could have happened. Needless to say, we are all home today. I guess in order to 'make up' for the lack of proactive choices yesterday, the girls' school district was the first in the state to cancel for today.

Thank God that He had His hand on my family and our friends yesterday. He has a plan for them. And He gave us another day to share together today and to enjoy these gorgeous (cold) sights...

Say It

This song was playing a few days ago, and it got me thinking about how many times I haven't said what needed to be said. I used to speak my mind very freely. Having children tempered that a little bit I guess. Being with Chris tempered it a little more. Now there are very few times that I saw what I think or what I think should be said.

I don't know if it is better to speak your mind or to keep things in. A healthy balance is probably the right thing to do, but who the hell has time to decide when to put a lid on it?!?! For me, I think I have become a people pleaser...sort of. I don't want to hurt those that I love, so I just don't address things that bother me. They never know, so they don't get hurt. It probably isn't great for my health, but hey, at least someone's happy, right?

When do I bottle things up the most? At work probably. I get so irritated at so many of the parents of my students sometimes. Being in a very rural area, there are extremely poor families. This tends to equate to neglected kiddos. It pisses me off to no end. Mostly because I have been there. I have been so poor that I had to beg my mom to pay my water or electric bill so that my babies would have heat and water. But by God, they were never allowed to suffer or even do without. If I had to clean toilets for my family members for my girls to see a doctor or have medicine, then so be it. I always came up with a way. They never even knew how badly off we were and how hard it was for me at times just to feed them, much less handle birthdays and holidays. It used to scare terrify me to the core when there were breaks in the school year like spring break, because I never was sure how I would keep them well-fed during the entire break without school breakfast and lunch to help get us through. How can you let your kids suffer? How do you see them burn the skin off of their leg, to the bone, and cover it with a dry diaper for God's sake (no ointment) before sending them to school? Seriously, I had this happen just a couple of years ago...I had to tell the mom to come get her and she couldn't return to school without a doctor's note...just so that we knew she had been to get the burn treated. Really? How the @$#@ do you do that to a five year old and think it's okay? Oh and, occasionally I get frustrated with my co-workers as well, but who doesn't? In order to keep things as peaceful as possible in the work place, I just stay in my classroom. It doesn't always work, and there have been some really bad spells. There are so many things that I would like to say. But I don't. Ulcer in the making? Probably. Or a heart attack. Stress at work last year put an extra 13 pounds on me...which I have lost in the last three months (kudos to me, yes).

At home, I can usually say whatever. Mostly though, I don't. I usually don't have to. Anyway...

"Say what you need to say"

Happiness Is NOT a Choice.

I guess it might be for some people, but it is not a choice for me. I can't just think happy thoughts and become Perky Patty. It isn't something that I talk about much. I don't like to. But it really sucks to be sad and not know why. To be in a room full of people, but feel completely alone. To have no answer when someone asks what is wrong, or if I am okay. I don't feel okay, but I will get there. The past week has had me in a battle with myself, just willing my eyes not to cry. I am bitchy with people that I love, even more so lately. There's no reason. It just is what it is. I hate it when people say that you can choose to be happy. Not everyone has that option. I have everything that I could possibly hope for: a husband that is as close to perfect as a person can be; children that are smart, beautiful, and talented in many things; a job that gives me holidays at home and a few weeks off in the summer; no financial strain; a lovely home...truly, everything that I could want...more blessings than I deserve. I am content. And yet, that dark monster that I had eluded for so long has once again found me. Depression hurts. It is a fight. I battle it every day...I have overcome it before and I will defeat it again. There is no other option.

Lining Up Two By Two

For the last three weeks, the above photos have been the view from every window that I look out of. If the rain and storms continue, we will have to build an ark and march the littles in two by two! These gloomy days have made for some lackluster blog ideas and some tense moments, including a forty-five minute stint with 19 kindergarteners in the closet at school...smack dab in the middle of naptime. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I am terrified of storms? Almost as much as I am of frogs? These are three different cells that went through my town last Tuesday night, all within ten miles of my house.

Attack of the Frogs!

Today's post is something that I really have an issue with. It is even difficult for me to use a photo. I was swallowing whimpers and vomit as I searched for one. Frogs. I am terrified of them. Usually the fear is paralyzing. Today, thankfully, it was not. It is my hope that my story will make someone smile...since the situation nearly made me cry...something good must come of it! My family certainly gets a laugh with each attack on my life. Killer frogs. I am sure that is what they are.

So the story begins about 20 years ago. I lived down the road from my Nanny and Pap. Picture it. A dirt road. Six houses on it. A pre-teen girl with an easy means of escape from the parental units: a mere walk to Nanny and Pap's haven. I spent much of my time there. Until the attacks began.

It was dusk, mid-summer, and I was walking to my getaway. Barefoot. On the dirt road. Not a care in the world. Until...squish. Yep. I said it. I had stepped on a frog. It made this awful croaking sound and squishing sound and crunching sound all at once...I suppose it was a frogly dying sound. I won't even attempt to describe the feeling under the ball of my foot. Terrible. Horrific. I began to scream. Couldn't. Move. What to do? Keep. Screaming. I figured if I screamed long enough, someone would come out and see who was killing me. Thankfully, someone did. Nanny. When she understood the problem, she got the car and rescued me from the would-be death valley for frogs. That was attack numero uno.

Because of the dirt road and the country atmosphere, the entire summer could actually have been considered the first attack. Consider sitting on the porch swing, and you can't let your feet down because if you do, the frogs will catch your scent and begin jumping onto the porch. Truly. They smelt my fear. It was the summer of my disillusionment with the country.

Attack number two could be any number of froggish nightmares over the years, but I will go with the attack in...the bathroom. Yes, you read correctly. The. Bathroom. At the house I now live in. Chris and I had just started dating. I hadn't been in the house more than a half dozen times. The bathroom was calling my name, so I stepped through the hall towards the kitchen on my way to the washroom. There was this blob of something on the floor, and I knew that Chris had been working in the yard that day, so I figured some mud had fallen off of his shoe. Not so. I round the corner and the damn blob jumped at me. Right at my feet. I swear, my feet are like frog magnets. Of course, I screamed. Thankfully, there was a chair about two steps away from me, and I was standing on top of it in about one fierce leap.  Screaming again. Chris was my savior that day. That frog was swiftly removed from the premises, and it took weeks before I could use that restroom again, and I STILL check the floor in that hallway before I walk through it. It happened like three years ago. And I still check.

The time of year is rapidly approaching when I absolutely detest recess duty. Why? Frogs. Kids catch the nasty creatures. Then they bring them to show the teacher. Which results in things jumping out of tiny hands towards teachers...me...It scares me to death. And a rule as a teacher is 'show no fear or they will eat you.' The kids, not the frogs. Although, I think the frogs might try.

The most recent frogly attack on my being was today. It was one of those strange weather kind of days. The ones where you know it needs to storm, yet it just won't. Where the sky is an odd shade of gray, blue, green all swirled together...and the air is sticky. There was a breeze though, so it felt good to be outside. Chris was digging up some old shrubs, and I had gone out to tell him something. He jerked this bush up out of the ground and here comes this awful brown and lime green leapster, headed straight for me! I swear it was trying to kill me. The green demon was speedy-quick, but I was like a lightning bolt getting away to the front porch. Screaming all the while. The thing was a monster. Huge. At least as big as my hand. Long, skinny legs. Bulging eyes. OMG my blood pressure is raised just thinking about it.

While I survived the attack today, it has me very worried about the endeavor that hubs and I will be working on very soon. A garden. I had a very small one last year, and did not see a single amphibian the entire spring/summer. Given my experiences in this house...I think that may not be the case with this garden. I am afraid frogly things will abound. Sigh.

Even though this post was not about something joyful for me, it did make my husband and daughter laugh, so I am linking up with Lisa and Kevin at JoyfulJones for Joyful Moments.