Monday, September 26, 2011

Challenge Day 9/30...My Wish

At what point in a person's life do hopes and dreams for the future shift from self to someone else? Is it when they become a parent? When they truly fall in love? For me, it was the latter.

When I became a momma, my own life was still so unstable and uncertain, that I couldn't just completely focus on my babies. I was in a constant state of worry, uncertainty, confusion, even grief (due to the loss of personal dreams and deaths of relationships)...I had hopes for my children and their futures, of course, but my own life was still unfinished and incomplete.

When I fell in love with Chris, things began to fall into place with my personal life. I started to feel whole, like I was finally getting life it right. I began noticing that my goals were becoming different. Now that we are married, and the worry and instability that consumed me are gone, I find myself looking to the future from the viewpoint of a parent. Where will my children be 5, 10, 15, 30 years from now? What venture will I be supporting them in? Will they go to college? What will they accomplish? Who will they love? How will they love? Will they still love me? Will we stay close? Do they and will they know how much I love them?

My hope for the future now is that they will know how much they mean to me long after I am gone. They saved my life; saving me from myself. Being a parent is so amazing, and I hope that they experience it...they will be great at it. I want them to be honest, compassionate, generous, and considerate adults; successful at whatever their hearts desire, able to handle difficult times with dignity and strength. I pray that they will not be afraid to go after the dreams of their youth and that they will be bold about their beliefs and convictions. Most of all, my heart hopes that they love and are loved the one that was created for them...their soulmate. I  hope that they have watched and learned what not to do from my idiotic mistakes...the ones that they have seen me make as we have grown up together. I don't want much for my babies...just everything. :-)

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